On Buoyancy

Oh awesome, a floater. Or at least half one. At least I finally have some decent shit to show you. Interesting take on this one. Again I set down to a nice game of Sudoku (I think I'm starting to run out of Onions) and again I am relatively stumped by a one star. But I managed to plop this log out, and I thought I felt another but I was called away by a message on my computer.

It was pertaining to whether or not an airplane on a treadmill could take off. I believe it would, and I'm fairly certain the science is on my side (the Myth Busters sure are), but I've heard enough dissent to nearly make me doubt my sanity. I won't go into the nitty gritty here, but the jist is that we ended up basically in a standstill about the issue. In the heat of the moment, though, I managed to push the 2nd turd ("terd" or "turd"? Spell-check says "turd") back into hiding.

And I still never finished that one star puzzle. *frown*

Speak of the Devil

So apparently my colon is patronizing me, now. Just a few minutes after I post about not pooping, it squirts this little turd out. Turd is absolutely the best word to describe it, too. Look at that little thing, hiding at the bottom. And that's not the tip of the iceberg, either. That's like 90% of the thing, in full view. Totally an unimpressive start.

To make matters worse, my mind was so distracted by my immaterial poop, that I messed up on my ritual Sudoko puzzle. I usually breeze through a 2- or 3-star puzzle during a poop, but I've got a nice big blotch on the 1-star I was doing. X_X. I could also blame my distraction on Hellboy, which could easily be heard through the bathroom door, but that's just a cop out, really.

I've got no idea what this thing made out of. I've been on a forced diet, being semi-broke, so my eating habits have been less than stellar. Luckily for all you poop-fans, I've got not one but TWO family vacations coming up in the next month. I always eat good with family, so you'll get to see some grade-A shits soon. And in exotic locales, no less.

For those of you less patient, I had some Mexican food for dinner tonight. That should show up well before I take the trips, I hope, so that'll be good.

Stringey and stingy

Well this one stung a little bit coming out. So the things I've eaten in the last couple days would include nachos and cheese, Chinese takeout, some of those tasty beef sticks, Angel Hair pasta with Clam sauce, and the drinks would include; seltzer, bacardi 151* rum, some chardonay, assorted energy drinks, and water.
The texture seems to be soft, and it broke up in the water fairly quickly.

So, I was walking around in market fair when it struck me. I had to go, I really had to go. But I needed my sushi! And I needed my books! I had to hold it, and it started to build the pressure. Eventualy I got back to my mothers house, and let it fly. Not literaly fly, that would have been quite a sight however. Perhaps next time...

Crappy Greetz!
- Michael C. Guarneri

Hall of Honor

I must not be eating right. I haven't had to poop for days, it seems. At least, not since we got the inspiration to start blogging our number twos. Ah well. Anticipation'll only make it better.

Meanwhile, since this is supposed to be a picture blog of sorts, I've got a little gem to share with you.

I dunno if you can make out the tiny little bathroom enclave, just under the big letters labeling the "Hall of Honor," but I found it kind of funny. Good place for a throne, in any case.

Welcome to Crap Shots!

On this blog we will be updating every terd. For medical reasons we have decided to share terds with the world, to see and document if foods/drinks eaten truely effect size, shape, color, and texture. If you are squeamish, or think this disgusting, then please leave now. This is not ment to offend anyone, and if it does, please accept our condolances, we are doing this purely as a joke, and for the reasons stated above.

Crappy greetz!
-Michael C. Guarneri